i couldn't see.
my whole world flipped off the page,
and my story was at a standstill.
feeling that tug every second
dragging me further and further
into the exhausting path that overlapped.

when i would reach the highest of my low,
i realized my climb,
and dropped back
in doubt.
i doubted myself.
i doubted every piece of my heart.
it lay scattered in front of me
staring back at me.
expecting me to fall apart.
but i stood there for a reason.

beyond what my thoughts could ever do to you.
i still loved you.
sometimes, i still feel the sharp edges of the scars that you drew.
but i know that you have thrown out your pen.

in fact, i keep close attention to my progress.
some days its easier than others.
but i feel lighter these days.
as if God finally had enough.

dropped someone into my life that could do the job right.
maybe he was supposed to be here all along.
but as soon as he knocked,
i rushed the others out.

for the pain has stopped.
the tears are frozen.
the scars don't hurt as much as they used to.
and i realize,
you never loved me.

and his arms are new to me.
i feel the warmth you took away from me.
the blanket of desire around my fragile body.

he picked up my heart in curiosity,
examined the broken pieces,
wrapped himself around me
and said "i can fix this".

for the longest time,
i haven't seen any part of the road ahead.
no part of the future.
because i didn't want anybody near me.
the damage was too severe.

like passing that car accident.
the one that made me look away.
afraid of what my eyes might do.
and realized,
i know that face on the ground.
the rain fell so hard.
how could this happen ?
what a cliche.

angels for everyone.
mine have left, out of boredom, frustration
or they just don't know how to make me feel
anything at all.
but i have the one who knows.
he's got every tool to fix what i gave up on fixing.

my attempts were weak,
because you took my hope away
the day i realized you were just a lie.
one big lie.
that i didn't care to want to know the truth about.

the trees this fall are glowing brighter than i've ever seen them glow before.
i wonder why.
God has come back.
and now i feel stronger.

my heart is fading back in,
and it may be the first time
i've ever been loved.

he said
"your hair looks like the fall"

and i sat up and looked at myself in the mirror,
remembering the soft grip of his voice in my ear.
my hair looks like the fall.

"your eyes feel like the world."
i blinked twice.
get out.

"your lips taste like candy"
i gasped for air suddenly
and a warm secret fell from my eyes.
i wrapped my arms around my legs
and pulled them close to my heart.

the beat was slow and heavy.
he's not gone yet.

for a moment you're here.
the shortest moment of my life.
you fade in every once in a while,
just to give me those occasional chills.
like the fog laying on top of the town,
you drift by making it hard for me to see.
im holding my breath,
but I realize you're gone.
you're really gone.

i am the color in the sky above.
the bittersweet last day.
i am the reason you stick around,
and the struggle to stay.
i am the voice you don't hear,
the silence in your heart.
I am your sweetest hello,
and your hardest goodbye.
i am the wind at your door,
the sand on your skin.
the unbearable noise
that you can't hear.

i am the lingering comfort that makes you ache,
and the dissatisfaction of happiness.
i am the pain that doesn't go away
and the love that grows each day.
i am a beautiful heartbreak
that you only feel when you're alone.
i am the protection you seek
when everyone is gone.
i am the friend you lost
and the family you push away.

i am the tears you hide
and the smile you share.
i am the feeling you get when you refuse to let go.
and the last look you take as you leave.
i am the friendship you forgot
and the place you go
where nobody can find you.
i am the thoughts in your head
when you can't think of anything to say,
and the emptiness wen you're alone.
i am the clock on the wall
staring you down,
and the chair you leave empty
day after day.
but most of all, i am your friend
and i will be here till the end. <3

she said to him,
"i miss you."
her face filled with color, and her eyes filled with tears.
his eyes pulled down.
he stepped forward and followed with
a chuckle.
"i haven't even left yet."
she was unsure, and even more so
she feared what would happen.
with her hands in her pockets,
she raised up on her tiptoes
and whispered in his ear.
"i'm falling in love with you."

it was done. she couldn't take it back even if she wanted to.
the emotions melted out through her face,
she tried so hard to reverse this effect.
she stepped back, and through her tears she could see his eyes.
but she couldn't read them.
she couldn't see a thing.
fear was rushing across her skin.

she ducked her head down, and turned to leave.
for the silence had said it all.

there was sudden warmth around her body.
his arms tightly wound around her,
she turned to see,
his eyes were full of tears.

he took a breath as he held her in his grasp.
"you are forever." he whispered to her.
his face became light and a tear fell down, across his beautiful skin.
she reached up and held his face in her hands.
wiping off his tears, she pressed her lips to his.

"i will always love you." he told her,
as if his heart was in his throat.
he pulled her toward him and held her tight.
they breathed heavily,
and lived in this moment so long.
"i will never let you get hurt. i will never leave you in the dark.
you are my entire life." he squeezed her in his arms,
almost as if this was the last minute they had.

she looked up at him, and smiled, wiped away his tears,
looked him in the eyes and said
"my heart is yours."

the winter air blew around them,
but it was warm.
and for that moment, pain did not exist.
not a single ounce of it.
and everything felt
perfect.